There have been many signs, of course but only two that had that red flag quality. I woke up on a plane and couldn’t remember where it was headed. I almost choked on my own panic as I thrashed about looking for my boarding pass. I was headed to LaGuardia, but for what? The second was at dinner a few weeks later when my 2 year old asked me if I worked on an airplane. She asked it happily enough but hearing it put so succinctly ripped through the façade I had built, telling myself she was too young to realize my constant absence.
It’s time to face the truth and embrace this beast of work life balance.
Over the last few months, I have made many bargains with myself on how I would strike a better balance between mommy/wife/worker bee. I begin with all the energy in the world, making lists and promises and finger paint art (because aren’t great moms, crafty?) but ultimately get derailed and find myself overwhelmed and just racing makin' the donuts.
So I’m putting my goal out here in cyberspace in hopes of ending my yo-yo balancing. And all the whining and self-hate that goes with it. Every day I’m going to practice living my priorities; family, self, work. I know all the days won’t be winners but I can’t keep living in this running behind mode. It may mean small changes or big but it has to happen. So in the words of my Anderson Cooper – I’m keepin’ myself honest by committing to chronicling this adventure so I don’t let time, and my sweet daughter’s life, just slip past me while Get Life In Balance sits on my to do list.
